The life that never was

Now that the painful words were said, and any future is ruined, how do I manage this pain that's growing to eat me alive... ?
I'm not used to giving up, but I can't cross this line...Can't force him... It wouldn't be love. No bird can fly freely in a cage. I keep telling myself these words to forgive myself of stopping to try.
And now I don't know how to be brave, I don't know how to move one. I don't want to leave him behind, although I know it was him who let go of my hand.
Or maybe, I'm the one staying behind.
Tears keep scarring my face...They remind me of a life that never was... :(
And I run to my dreams to live what was taken from me, without having never been given to me at all.
Every day makes it hurt more.
I'm so afraid.