What I miss

I am coming to the conclusion that there's no happiness for me stocked anywhere.
It hurts like hell not having him "around" anymore, It's hurting again, and I never thought it could even hurt more than before...!
It's insane... :( How can someone love an imperfect other so much? How can I miss him like this?
I miss his smile, I miss his voice, I miss his sometimes dumb sense of humor, I miss his food, and the garlic kisses...I miss his courage, and his softness, his peculiarities and his common sense. I miss the man in him, and the little kid, I miss his jokes and his serious moments. I miss the way he walks, and how he opens his shoulders to look bigger. I think it's cute. I miss the pizzas, and the hammocking. I miss hearing him talking about God. I miss sharing my God with him. I miss the study time, the videos time, the smart time. And the dumb times as well. I miss his color changing eyes, and his ugly ugly ugly hands. I miss his wood works. And the spoons he made me. And his dreams that I came to dream about too. I miss his smell, and his weird opinions, I miss his green jacket, and the sabbath incenses. I miss myself when I was with him. I miss us. I miss thinking that we'd see each other very soon. I miss US.
I wish he wasn't so afraid. I wish this wasn't happening. I wish I could wake up from this terrible nightmare and see him standing by my side with a "good morning spoon". :(
I don't wanna miss him anymore.